Our real blessings often appear to us in the shapes of pains,
losses and the disappointments; but let us have patience,
and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.
--Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English writer, statesman
Bonus Quote
A search of one's life and soul will reveal the hand of God.
The outpouring of his blessings come with our afflictions,
not in spite of them. Afflictions be praised.
--Elaine Cannon American writer
Monday, November 29, 2004
Friday, November 26, 2004
Letters From The Earth
The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before him rose the black night of Space, like a wall. His mighty bulk towered rugged and mountain-like into the zenith, and His divine head blazed there like a distant sun. At His feet stood three colossal figures, diminished to extinction, almost, by contrast -- archangels -- their heads level with His ankle-bone.
When the Creator had finished thinking, He said,
"I have thought. Behold!"
Though if you are fundamentally religious, you will no doubt not agree with me, and I don't care! As your evangelical leaders do not care (and have explicetly said as much to all the national news media) if I am offended or frightened by their beliefs and tactics. I don't care if you don't have the ability to open your mind and listen to what you hear!
It is after all, your loss!
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
The Sheepdogs
Most humans truly are like sheep
Wanting nothing more than peace to keep
To graze, grow fat and raise their young,
Sweet taste of clover on the tongue.
Their lives serene upon Life’s farm,
They sense no threat nor fear no harm.
On verdant meadows, they forage free
With naught to fear, with naught to flee.
They pay their sheepdogs little heed
For there is no threat; there is no need.
To the flock, sheepdog’s are mysteries,
Roaming watchful round the peripheries.
These fang-toothed creatures bark, they roar
With the fetid reek of the carnivore,
Too like the wolf of legends told,
To be amongst our docile fold.
Who needs sheepdogs? What good are they?
They have no use, not in this day.
Lock them away, out of our sight
We have no need of their fierce might.
But sudden in their midst a beast
Has come to kill, has come to feast
The wolves attack; they give no warning
Upon that calm September morning
They slash and kill with frenzied glee
Their passive helpless enemy
Who had no clue the wolves were there
Far roaming from their Eastern lair.
Then from the carnage, from the rout,
Comes the cry, “Turn the sheepdogs out!”
Thus is our nature but too our plight
To keep our dogs on leashes tight
And live a life of illusive bliss
Hearing not the beast, his growl, his hiss.
Until he has us by the throat,
We pay no heed; we take no note.
Not until he strikes us at our core
Will we unleash the Dogs of War
Only having felt the wolf pack’s wrath
Do we loose the sheepdogs on its path.
And the wolves will learn what we’ve shown before;
We love our sheep, we Dogs of War.
Russ Vaughn
2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division
Vietnam 65-66
Wanting nothing more than peace to keep
To graze, grow fat and raise their young,
Sweet taste of clover on the tongue.
Their lives serene upon Life’s farm,
They sense no threat nor fear no harm.
On verdant meadows, they forage free
With naught to fear, with naught to flee.
They pay their sheepdogs little heed
For there is no threat; there is no need.
To the flock, sheepdog’s are mysteries,
Roaming watchful round the peripheries.
These fang-toothed creatures bark, they roar
With the fetid reek of the carnivore,
Too like the wolf of legends told,
To be amongst our docile fold.
Who needs sheepdogs? What good are they?
They have no use, not in this day.
Lock them away, out of our sight
We have no need of their fierce might.
But sudden in their midst a beast
Has come to kill, has come to feast
The wolves attack; they give no warning
Upon that calm September morning
They slash and kill with frenzied glee
Their passive helpless enemy
Who had no clue the wolves were there
Far roaming from their Eastern lair.
Then from the carnage, from the rout,
Comes the cry, “Turn the sheepdogs out!”
Thus is our nature but too our plight
To keep our dogs on leashes tight
And live a life of illusive bliss
Hearing not the beast, his growl, his hiss.
Until he has us by the throat,
We pay no heed; we take no note.
Not until he strikes us at our core
Will we unleash the Dogs of War
Only having felt the wolf pack’s wrath
Do we loose the sheepdogs on its path.
And the wolves will learn what we’ve shown before;
We love our sheep, we Dogs of War.
Russ Vaughn
2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division
Vietnam 65-66
Sunday, November 14, 2004
THE WAR PRAYER _______________________ by Mark Twain
It was a time of great and exalting excitement. The country
was up in arms, the war was on, in every breast burned the
holy fire of patriotism; the drums were beating, the bands
playing, the toy pistols popping, the bunched firecrackers
hissing and spluttering; on every hand and far down the
receding and fading spread of roofs and balconies a
fluttering wilderness of flags flashed in the sun; daily
the young volunteers marched down the wide avenue gay and
fine in their new uniforms, the proud fathers and mothers
and sisters and sweethearts cheering them with voices
choked with happy emotion as they swung by; nightly the
packed mass meetings listened, panting, to patriot oratory
which stirred the deepest deeps of their hearts, and which
they interrupted at briefest intervals with cyclones of
applause, the tears running down their cheeks the while;
in the churches the pastors preached devotion to flag and
country, and invoked the God of Battles beseeching His aid
in our good cause in outpourings of fervid eloquence which
moved every listener. It was indeed a glad and gracious
time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to
disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteous-
ness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that
for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of
sight and offended no more in that way.
Sunday morning came -- next day the battalions would leave
for the front; the church was filled; the volunteers were
there, their young faces alight with martial dreams --
visions of the stern advance, the gathering momentum, the
rushing charge, the flashing sabers, the flight of the foe,
the tumult, the enveloping smoke, the fierce pursuit, the
surrender! Then home from the war, bronzed heroes,
welcomed, adored, submerged in golden seas of glory! With
the volunteers sat their dear ones, proud, happy, and
envied by the neighbors and friends who had no sons and
brothers to send forth to the field of honor, there to win
for the flag, or, failing, die the noblest of noble deaths.
The service proceeded; a war chapter from the Old Testament
was read; the first prayer was said; it was followed by an
organ burst that shook the building, and with one impulse
the house rose, with glowing eyes and beating hearts, and
poured out that tremendous invocation
*God the all-terrible! Thou who ordainest! Thunder thy
clarion and lightning thy sword!*
Then came the "long" prayer. None could remember the like
of it for passionate pleading and moving and beautiful
language. The burden of its supplication was, that an ever-
merciful and benignant Father of us all would watch over
our noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort, and encourage
them in their patriotic work; bless them, shield them in
the day of battle and the hour of peril, bear them in His
mighty hand, make them strong and confident, invincible in
the bloody onset; help them to crush the foe, grant to them
and to their flag and country imperishable honor and glory--
An aged stranger entered and moved with slow and noiseless
step up the main aisle, his eyes fixed upon the minister,
his long body clothed in a robe that reached to his feet,
his head bare, his white hair descending in a frothy
cataract to his shoulders, his seamy face unnaturally pale,
pale even to ghastliness. With all eyes following him and
wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he
ascended to the preacher's side and stood there waiting.
With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence,
continued with his moving prayer, and at last finished it
with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, "Bless our arms,
grant us the victory, O Lord our God, Father and Protector
of our land and flag!"
The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside --
which the startled minister did -- and took his place.
During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience
with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then
in a deep voice he said:
"I come from the Throne -- bearing a message from Almighty
God!" The words smote the house with a shock; if the
stranger perceived it he gave no attention. "He has heard
the prayer of His servant your shepherd, and will grant it
if such shall be your desire after I, His messenger, shall
have explained to you its import -- that is to say, its
full import. For it is like unto many of the prayers of
men, in that it asks for more than he who utters it is
aware of -- except he pause and think.
"God's servant and yours has prayed his prayer. Has he
paused and taken thought? Is it one prayer? No, it is two
-- one uttered, the other not. Both have reached the ear
of Him Who heareth all supplications, the spoken and the
unspoken. Ponder this -- keep it in mind. If you would
beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without
intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same
time. If you pray for the blessing of rain upon your crop
which needs it, by that act you are possibly praying for a
curse upon some neighbor's crop which may not need rain
and can be injured by it.
"You have heard your servant's prayer -- the uttered part
of it. I am commissioned of God to put into words the other
part of it -- that part which the pastor -- and also you in
your hearts -- fervently prayed silently. And ignorantly
and unthinkingly? God grant that it was so! You heard these
words: 'Grant us the victory, O Lord our God!' That is
sufficient. the *whole* of the uttered prayer is compact
into those pregnant words. Elaborations were notnecessary.
When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many
unmentioned results which follow victory--*must* follow it,
cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God
fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me
to put it into words. Listen!
"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our
hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them
-- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of
our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God,
help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our
shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale
forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder
of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in
pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a
hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their
unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn
them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended
the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and
thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy
winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail,
imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it --
for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes,
blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make
heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain
the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask
it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of
Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all
that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and
contrite hearts.
Amen.
(*After a pause.*) "Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire
it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits!"
It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic,
because there was no sense in what he said.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Twain apparently dictated it around 1904-05; it was
rejected by his publisher, and was found after his death
among his unpublished manuscripts. It was first published
in 1923 in Albert Bigelow Paine's anthology, Europe and
Elsewhere.
The story is in response to a particular war, namely the
Philippine-American War of 1899-1902, which Twain opposed.
See Jim Zwick's page "Mark Twain on the Philippines" for
more of Twain's writings on the subject.
was up in arms, the war was on, in every breast burned the
holy fire of patriotism; the drums were beating, the bands
playing, the toy pistols popping, the bunched firecrackers
hissing and spluttering; on every hand and far down the
receding and fading spread of roofs and balconies a
fluttering wilderness of flags flashed in the sun; daily
the young volunteers marched down the wide avenue gay and
fine in their new uniforms, the proud fathers and mothers
and sisters and sweethearts cheering them with voices
choked with happy emotion as they swung by; nightly the
packed mass meetings listened, panting, to patriot oratory
which stirred the deepest deeps of their hearts, and which
they interrupted at briefest intervals with cyclones of
applause, the tears running down their cheeks the while;
in the churches the pastors preached devotion to flag and
country, and invoked the God of Battles beseeching His aid
in our good cause in outpourings of fervid eloquence which
moved every listener. It was indeed a glad and gracious
time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to
disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteous-
ness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that
for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of
sight and offended no more in that way.
Sunday morning came -- next day the battalions would leave
for the front; the church was filled; the volunteers were
there, their young faces alight with martial dreams --
visions of the stern advance, the gathering momentum, the
rushing charge, the flashing sabers, the flight of the foe,
the tumult, the enveloping smoke, the fierce pursuit, the
surrender! Then home from the war, bronzed heroes,
welcomed, adored, submerged in golden seas of glory! With
the volunteers sat their dear ones, proud, happy, and
envied by the neighbors and friends who had no sons and
brothers to send forth to the field of honor, there to win
for the flag, or, failing, die the noblest of noble deaths.
The service proceeded; a war chapter from the Old Testament
was read; the first prayer was said; it was followed by an
organ burst that shook the building, and with one impulse
the house rose, with glowing eyes and beating hearts, and
poured out that tremendous invocation
*God the all-terrible! Thou who ordainest! Thunder thy
clarion and lightning thy sword!*
Then came the "long" prayer. None could remember the like
of it for passionate pleading and moving and beautiful
language. The burden of its supplication was, that an ever-
merciful and benignant Father of us all would watch over
our noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort, and encourage
them in their patriotic work; bless them, shield them in
the day of battle and the hour of peril, bear them in His
mighty hand, make them strong and confident, invincible in
the bloody onset; help them to crush the foe, grant to them
and to their flag and country imperishable honor and glory--
An aged stranger entered and moved with slow and noiseless
step up the main aisle, his eyes fixed upon the minister,
his long body clothed in a robe that reached to his feet,
his head bare, his white hair descending in a frothy
cataract to his shoulders, his seamy face unnaturally pale,
pale even to ghastliness. With all eyes following him and
wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he
ascended to the preacher's side and stood there waiting.
With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence,
continued with his moving prayer, and at last finished it
with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, "Bless our arms,
grant us the victory, O Lord our God, Father and Protector
of our land and flag!"
The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside --
which the startled minister did -- and took his place.
During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience
with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then
in a deep voice he said:
"I come from the Throne -- bearing a message from Almighty
God!" The words smote the house with a shock; if the
stranger perceived it he gave no attention. "He has heard
the prayer of His servant your shepherd, and will grant it
if such shall be your desire after I, His messenger, shall
have explained to you its import -- that is to say, its
full import. For it is like unto many of the prayers of
men, in that it asks for more than he who utters it is
aware of -- except he pause and think.
"God's servant and yours has prayed his prayer. Has he
paused and taken thought? Is it one prayer? No, it is two
-- one uttered, the other not. Both have reached the ear
of Him Who heareth all supplications, the spoken and the
unspoken. Ponder this -- keep it in mind. If you would
beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without
intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same
time. If you pray for the blessing of rain upon your crop
which needs it, by that act you are possibly praying for a
curse upon some neighbor's crop which may not need rain
and can be injured by it.
"You have heard your servant's prayer -- the uttered part
of it. I am commissioned of God to put into words the other
part of it -- that part which the pastor -- and also you in
your hearts -- fervently prayed silently. And ignorantly
and unthinkingly? God grant that it was so! You heard these
words: 'Grant us the victory, O Lord our God!' That is
sufficient. the *whole* of the uttered prayer is compact
into those pregnant words. Elaborations were notnecessary.
When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many
unmentioned results which follow victory--*must* follow it,
cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God
fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me
to put it into words. Listen!
"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our
hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them
-- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of
our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God,
help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our
shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale
forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder
of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in
pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a
hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their
unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn
them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended
the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and
thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy
winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail,
imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it --
for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes,
blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make
heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain
the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask
it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of
Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all
that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and
contrite hearts.
Amen.
(*After a pause.*) "Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire
it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits!"
It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic,
because there was no sense in what he said.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Twain apparently dictated it around 1904-05; it was
rejected by his publisher, and was found after his death
among his unpublished manuscripts. It was first published
in 1923 in Albert Bigelow Paine's anthology, Europe and
Elsewhere.
The story is in response to a particular war, namely the
Philippine-American War of 1899-1902, which Twain opposed.
See Jim Zwick's page "Mark Twain on the Philippines" for
more of Twain's writings on the subject.
Monday, November 01, 2004
LAZY BOY LYRICS
Underwear Goes Inside The Pants
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons.
That's not natural.But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down.
Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever.
How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.
The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem,
who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these
terrorists masterminds
that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do,
don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right?
And you put in your backpack.
And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up?
Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here?
Me or you?"
Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity.
They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why were getting fatter?
Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker.
There's room in the back.
Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that?
It's only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."
We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought,
that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box,
what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a
"underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly,
but technically
I'm sure it is on the books.
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons.
That's not natural.But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down.
Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever.
How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.
The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem,
who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these
terrorists masterminds
that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do,
don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right?
And you put in your backpack.
And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up?
Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here?
Me or you?"
Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity.
They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why were getting fatter?
Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker.
There's room in the back.
Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that?
It's only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."
We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought,
that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box,
what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a
"underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly,
but technically
I'm sure it is on the books.
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